Five indications that you ARE a good candidate for Mediated Divorce!


The Mediated Divorce is not appropriate for all situations or for all people. It takes active, good-faith commitment of both parties to the process, and a willingness to put both of your long-term benefit ahead of short-term emotional retribution.

1. There is a realization, even a grudging acceptance, by both parties that the marriage is over.

  • If, but only if, both parties are willing to accept the inevitability of the marriage ending can the process go forward. If either party is just “going through the motions” or even worse, actively trying to sabotage the process, then no collaborative process will work. If, however, both parties can be rational about the situation, it is possible to get to a fair and equitable settlement without the bitterness and rancor that is often associated with mediated divorce.

2. Both parties are willing, at least for a short while, to put aside the differences between themselves so that they can get through the legal process with a minimum of cost, effort, and emotional damage.

  • If both parties are willing to set aside differences long enough to tackle the details of the process, then a considerable amount of time, effort, and money can often be saved. The Mediated Divorce process channels your attention, efforts, and energies on the legally relevant issues while actively trying to minimize the emotional “hot spots” that could stand in the way.

3. Both parties are rational, responsible adults who, other than the emotional stress of the situation, are acting appropriately.

  • Respect for another person, even someone at whom you are very angry, is a key to coming to a rational agreement. It is clearly in the best interest of both parties to conserve resources, emotional and financial, for your ongoing lives than to spend those precious resources in fighting each other.
  • Enlightened self-interest will lead you to cooperation rather than confrontation. However, it may be almost impossible to do this alone. A trained Mediated Divorce mediator will do for the legal process what a good personal counselor will do for the emotional issues.

4. Neither party is actively trying to take advantage of, or to hurt, the other party.

  • Both parties, in their Mediated Divorce Contract, agree not to try to take advantage of the other party or to do anything for the purpose of harming, hurting, or “getting even” with each other. No matter how strong the temptation, you must be willing to “let go” enough to preserve your own emotional and financial resources.

5. Both parties are willing to make full disclosure of financial information and not hide things from the other party.

  • The court will absolutely require honesty and completeness in filling out the financial portion of the paperwork. The court can severely punish any person who violates this rule.
  • The Mediated Divorce process relies on both parties voluntarily agreeing to hold to these high standards without the necessity of having an opposing lawyer pry information out of a reluctant party. Good faith between the parties, even those who do not like each other very much anymore, is the foundation of maximizing your savings.